Aed jokes
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
A B C D E F GUN.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What’s an emo's favorite singer?
Slash.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.