Aed jokes
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.