Aed jokes
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
A cheetah and a lion are racing.
The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "You a cheetah!"
The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Can i have a girlfriend?
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).