Aed jokes
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?
To try and find their parents.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.