Aed jokes
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
DAM
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
How do you make an Indian explode?
You press the red dot.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.