Aed jokes
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.