Aed jokes

Why did the woman feel ugly?

A. Nobody would even rape her.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

Why does Santa not have any children?

He only cums once a year.

If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

How do you get a baby into a small bowl?

A blender.

How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.

Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

JACK AND JILL 2.0

After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,

Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,

And Jill screamed "Chill!"

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

If you humped a whale, it would humpback.

If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.