Aed jokes
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
Happy New Year! 🍆🍑🍆🍑
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
What do you call an Israeli strike against Gaza?
A Kike Strike!
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."