Aed jokes
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
I have a horse named Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"