Aed jokes
Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
What is Epstein's favorite piano chord?
A minor.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.