Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
