Topic

Topic Jokes

Gender

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.

Suicide

Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?

Half of the class: *raises hand*

Teacher: ...

The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*

People

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

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  • Interaction

    Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”

    Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”

    Stoner

    What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

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  • Hitler

    What's the difference between you and Hitler?

    Hitler knew when to kill himself.

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  • Butter

    Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

    Actually, I shouldn't spread it.

    Life

    What's the difference between life and a rape joke?

    Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.

    Family

    I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

    Sex

    Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.

    Mom

    Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

    Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

    Mom: ❓❓❓

    Bridge

    I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

    Friend

    My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

    Banana

    Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

    Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

    Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

    Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

    Dwarf

    I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

    Rapist

    Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.