Aed jokes
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
Meme
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
What is a black person's least favorite word game?
Hangman.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.