Aed jokes
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
I have a little John.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.