Aed jokes

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

What is old, cold, and alone?

An orphan's parents.

Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?

Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?

One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

The baseball player knows where home base is.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

What's big and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.

Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.