Aed jokes

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"

What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?

Special forces.

Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?

You've got a lot of problems!

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?

Nothing, they both hang.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?

A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.

Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?

A: Batman “returns.”

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”

Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.

What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?

Fruit cake.