Aed jokes
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.