Aed jokes
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.