Aed jokes
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
what the earth would look live after a year of the moon slowing down:
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.