Aed jokes
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
What is a neonatal's first time in the world?
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.