Aed jokes
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.