Aed jokes
"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."
"That was when I went to Yale."
"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"
"Thanks! I really need this yob!"
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.