Proof jokes
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Fun fact: The max comments on a joke on this website is 1000! (LINK IN COMMENTS FOR PROOF)
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
This is my fake ex. Proof he fake
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.