Aed jokes
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
Q: Knock, knock? Who’s there? A: Boo. A: Boo who? Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
this is a L site now
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?
Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?
You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.