Aed jokes
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
Q: I wish my grass was emo.
A: Then it would cut itself.
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
LOLOL
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...