Aed jokes

Why do you joke about Helen Keller?

She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

A bullet is like an arrow.

Nothing can stop it from going through your head.

Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.

Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.

What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.

The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.

Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."

20 years later

Orphan: "Dad?"

Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?

Because he was playing with a cheetah!

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

A: Act like a nut.

(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.

It's a sad state of affairs.

What is the difference between me and a retard?

At least I have chromosomes.

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!