Tractor jokes
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.