Aed jokes
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
I put glue in a man :)
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."