Aed jokes

There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.

I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"

Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

How do you close a cabinet?

You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!

You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.

Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.

Look in a mirror.

A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."

The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."

I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?

My dick said that your ass is having a boner.

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?

How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.

What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.