Aed jokes
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."