Aed jokes
I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn't too bad either.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.