Aed jokes

One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!

Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.

Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!

My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.

"Ouch!"

"What's wrong?"

"I stepped on a screw."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"

Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?

Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

What's the difference between an orphan and an Egyptian?

Egyptians have mummies.

Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?

Border hoppers! LOL.

I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?

Because it is politically motivated.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Rizz.

Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.