Aed jokes
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
Fam, you weaker than a polar bear!
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
Yo mama so fat, she classified as a whole solar system.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.