Aed jokes
Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
o o a a.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."