Aed jokes
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high.
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Zack Stargaze has a small willy, lol.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.