Aed jokes
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?
"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”