Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year
Sex is like math
You add a bed 🛌
Subtract the clothes👚👕👖👙
Divide the legs🪢
And pray you don’t multiply 👨❤️👨👩❤️👨👩❤️👩
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick" His boss replies, "you don't sound sick" The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”
What does one saggy boob Say to the other saggy boob
If we don’t get some support people Will think we are ball sacks....
You watch 50 shades of gray, and you turn gray in bed.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A lady walks in to a dentists office, sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the lady replies; last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common? They wait to be filled with a big load
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator
