Aed jokes
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.