Advice Jokes

I would I new life but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose. Hey give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded! Oh no not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys I just lost my finger a day ago this is Tony later on

People tell me to be nice to orphans so I say what are they gonna do tell their parents

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

chinese wise man once say, "ching chong ling long ting tong"

which means, "keep striving in life"

What do you tell someone who has depression Answer: just hang in there

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice/dreams.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say

I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought 2.

Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice. Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like there hare brushed...

Hi guys. I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also quote for the day and advice. Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow just look forward today. there are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

Advice. Sometimes ppl have opions and those opions are probley what u don't like but don't bring negitvity on them just because of what there saying. If you chose you probley say (I don't understand that statement but it does sound good." This is not a drama site it a joking site.

P.S. No hating in these comments.

I know this is a really bad poem but I'll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do.

Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(