Advice Jokes

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.

My grandma was telling me to be positive. As i was going in for an aids test

my grandma always said, slow and steady wins the race. she died in a fire.

The fact that am high won't stop me from advising u😳😳 Don't plug ur phone while charging it is very dengeros 🤣🛌

small word of advice:Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don't realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

He was In a fight then a person said stand up for yourself

stephen was a mad role model, he never taught me to stand up for myself

this is not a joke but if your uncle tells you, "{ bend over, touch your toes, i'll show you were the monster goes." don't do it hehhehehehehe.

Why did God create women before men? He didn’t want any advice on how to do it

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

Husband: Dammit alice! I'm your husband and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you! Wife: Go to hell Bob! I'm Leaving! Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.