Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Run, bestie, run!
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
Keep yourself safe!
Neona: Gwen?
Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?
Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!
Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!
Neona: Are you mad at me?
Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
