Guidance jokes

My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.

Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.

I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.

I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To hear some "foster" parenting advice.

Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?

Because you can’t look up to them.

What does the Bible stand for?

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

What did the math book say to the guidance counselor?

Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.