Disappearance Jokes

Why are people in Japan always skinny?

Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."

A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.

How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

When he died, the Angel came back for him.

"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.

Except my depression.

They told me I could never be an actor.

No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.

You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.

He didn't show up for the rest of the year.

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡

I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.

What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?

They both died with red rings.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.

So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.