Box

Anonymous

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

Puns

Anonymous

a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace

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Dad

Anonymous

My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.

4

Little Johnny

Anonymous

little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

9

Girlfriend

Anonymous

My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.

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Name

daddyofjokes

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid’s birthday party. He walked in and said “Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel.” He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said “And for my final trick; I will disappear!” He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said “Hey, he’s like my dad.” “Really” asked a little girl? “I guessed?” he said back, “My dad wasn’t a magician, but he disappeared. I haven’t seen him since…”

Week

Anonymous Person xP

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, “uno, dos…” poof … He disappeared without a tres. XD

White

madman

how do you know youre following a dolorean? the white line disappears

Bank

Anonymous

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this?”

The bank manager looks back at her and says: “It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone”

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Puns

Anonymous

There was a mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three. 1-2-… and he left without a trace.

3

Prostitution

Anonymous

What do magicians and prostitutes have in common? Answer: disappearing acts

Puns

Nun ya

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three he said uno dos and disappeared without a tres

Count

Anonymous

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘uno, dos…’ and poof. He disappears without a tres."

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Friend

Gurl no

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts Uno Dos and leaves no trace.

Idk my friend did it

Chocolate

Anonymous

Why I can’t have no chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Prison

Corrienne Strong

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions …you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared.  The man did as was told and became generous and kind …as he emerged from the betting office with all his money… he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person…each and everytime. He ,however couldn’t seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what .  When he died the Angel came back for him … “But I’m undeserving I can’t come with you” he said … “Yes you can” replied the Angel , “you gave all your stake ( steak) away”

Bartender

EJ

A blond a bernet and a red head walked into a bar the bartender told them their was a magic merror in the bathroom.He said that if you spoke the truth infront of the merror you would have your greatest desires but if you told a lie you would disappear .The red head sais that she was the pretiest girl in the bar and she walked out the bathroom and she got athusand dollars.The berrnet walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar she walked out the ber with a new car.The bland went she said I think poof she was gone

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Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between harry houdini and everyone else in my life, harry was the only person not to disappear

Puns

Anonymous

There was a news the other where a magician disappeared. He was like"at the count of 3 I will disappear aight…Uno, Des,and he disappeared without a trace.

Dad

Anonymous

I think my dad is to black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes he disappears .🤣