What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
Accident Jokes
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
I kicked a soccer ball into a kid in a wheelchair, so we are playing Rocket League.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
