So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
i was trying to hang the lights when i accidentally kicked the chsur
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested it's factuality-
Well it's been some good years now Haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Scoucer at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer by what time is it mate? American replys thats a mad accent were are you from ? Scoucer says liverpool american oh what state is that in? Scoucer looks around and says about the same state as this mate but what time is it?
Did you hear the news? Michael jackson died, because he choked on 7 year old nuts and balls
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
They told me throwing babies was bad but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
wdid u know that stephon hawking deth was by accident because he pressed shut down instead of sleep mode
What mistake did the manager of the twin towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car.
The 911 people really dint scramble fast enough so they got folded like and omelet
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
If your sister steps on your toe . You will call it ?
I was riding a bike with no helmet I went and went with no helmet until.............I broke my head with no helmet on
Bro the air planes that crashed darn it they got mvp
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after
(and you thought this would be a joke
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".
