Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
