Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police. She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?” The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?” The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
I turned the light on and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
My father always used to say:
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Until the accident.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat , but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
i met a girl that was 6-5 and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm, she really said ohh snap like a twin tower
a blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, That some dick cut her off.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain. The email reads: „Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here“.
your moma is so fat that when she egged the twin towers she threw a airplane on accident.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully. But I can break yours today, hopefully.
What did they find in Paul walkers glovebox? His head and shoulders.
Why did I trip over your foot ...? .... Because you were so short I couldn’t see you !
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible
What is the worlds strongest material....... The tree that Paul walker hit
mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)
