Accident jokes
Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂