Accident jokes
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
U were accidental.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
I fell down yesterday.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!