Accident jokes
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
I fell down yesterday.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
you.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
I'm Gay.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.