Accident jokes
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Was he under insurance claim?
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.