Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car? Open a pizza shop 🍕
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick and I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She won't talk to me any more.
what did dom toerreto say about the tree paul walker hit famly strong but not that strong
Where you born on the high way that's where most accidents happen
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a viagra, Jill was drunk fell to her knee, Jack had his chance did Jill till 3
what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...a girl scout that got hit by a car
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The Helicopter Blade
my dad died in 9/11. he was such a good pilot
charli trys to roast me: roses are red violets are blue and u look like poo Me: you must of been born on the highway cuz thats where most accidents happen
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
Q- How did Helen Keller get a concussion A-she kept on stepping on a rake
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
Oops, I made a mistake.
How is Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same they both hit the ground really hard.
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.
a conductor was conducting a song, at the end he through his conductor's stick and killed someone, he was put to the electric chair but nothing happened, they asked why he didn't die and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor"
a man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion. maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
