Yours jokes
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Your forehead is so big it can't even fit in the garage!
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.
Your hairline looks like a brick wall.
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
You have Chinged your last Chong.
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.