Yours jokes

If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

Your hairline so back it caused 9/11.

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.

Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*

She has cancer.

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.

If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.

Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.

Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.

Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.

That’s why the nickname for your hairline is the Red Sea.

Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!

You're more uglier.