Yours jokes
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!
Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.