Yours jokes
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."