Yours jokes
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.